50 Shades of Sh**- A review (oh and some things I actually love)

I’ve spent the last 10 days wondering what I will write for my obligatory Valentines Day post, having toyed with the idea of an anti-valentines day post, it’s too commercialised, makes you feel pants if you’re single and it costs too much if you are in a relationship. Aside from that cynical view of the whole V-Day, I thought I’d give a promo post for ya know, that little franchise 50 Shades of Grey.  *WARNING- contains spoilers!*

The very first thing I should say is yes I own the book. Did I complete it? HECK NO. It’s one of the most poorly written books I ever had the displeasure of starting. I got to chapter three. Despite this, because I love watching and being analytical about film, (I did study media for 3+ years) I wanted to see the movie.

This film made me cringe and angry. I am not one bit prude to start with, so watching a film with explicit sex does not bother me at all. Not one bit. However this is something else. None of this is realistic, I like a Hollywood film as much as the next guy but this is insane.

First thing, I guess you could call Anna ‘a late bloomer’ she hasn’t had sex before going to college so she’s 18, 19? This is cool, she hasn’t met the right guy, however after being shunted twice, she then sleeps with him? NO. This guy is still a stranger and has already exerted his control over, taking her to a hotel when she faints, undressing her and putting her to bed while she is unconscious! WEIRD. If a guy ever did that I would run (metaphorically of course) in the opposite direction and stay well away, I would not sleep with him just because he wants to ‘rectify the situation.’ Yes he referred to her virginity as that and she still went along with it! You’ve just lost all respect there Anna.- congrats.

Anyway without going through this scene by scene, he buys her multiple gifts in hope of getting her to sign an agreement to agree that she’ll be his submissive. (if you want to know what I’m babbling on about, goggle it). THIS IS WHERE THIS IS ABUSIVE. Sex should be consensual. End of. Buying someone gifts to get them to sleep with you is manipulation not consent. S&M isn’t new, EL James didn’t create it, she is not the first to write a sex book, but this really ‘glamourisation’ of domestic abuse. Kudos to her for creating a successful franchise despite in various interviews admitting that she has no knowledge of dominant and submissive sex. What people get up to in their sex lives is up to them, but people deserve respect. All fifty shades show is women mean nothing. They are sex objects and can be easily manipulated if you have money. I’m sorry that I spent £8.70 and lined the pockets of idiots.

If you want a film with a risky ideological message and real poor cinematography and acting then watch this. If she did one more pathetic porn face I would’ve cried and I was also sick of seeing close ups of her hands wrapped around mugs- clearly an attempt at an innuendo.

So 50 Shades was my Valentines this year. Roll on next year.

Because it is the month of love I thought I’d add just a splash of positivity and list a few things I actually love.

  1. Chocolate -I love it. There’s so much in my fridge. Although only milk and white chocolate.
  2. Yankee Candles- SO many good smells, you can literally smell them out in the communal hallway when one is lit. Lovely.
  3. Facials- I’m a little bit obsessive with my skincare routine. My mantra is to cleanse, tone and moisturise everyday. But I do love a good face mask, especially fruity ones!
  4. Watching tv in bed- Bliss.
  5. Going to the Zoo- I love this. And aquariums, this would be part of a perfect date (hint, hint)

I hope everyone had lovely Valentine’s Day and if not, maybe we’ll have a better one next year!

Until Next Time



One thought on “50 Shades of Sh**- A review (oh and some things I actually love)

  1. I’d come to the conclusion that since I hadn’t read any of these books and didn’t plan on going to see the film that I had missed out massively, after reading your posts though I know feel lucky I’ve never put myself through such rubbish! xx


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