What I’ve learnt this summer (AKA the LONG overdue post)

Shamefully I’ve not blogged pretty much all summer (shame on me) and I even missed the blog’s anniversary (even more shame) but here is my next post for anyone still holding on in there!

Being quite frank, I didn’t blog for a while for two reasons, 1) Life got a bit blah and 2) I really didn’t have much to say for an entire post that wasn’t just drivel. But reflecting on my summer and life I’ve learnt some pretty important life lessons that I kinda think you should hear.

  1. Everyone needs real ‘time out’

I always thought I did spend time out when I spent time watching TV or walking the dog but I was wrong. This summer I took about 2 weeks off work and spent 5 of those days in the New Forest. It wasn’t a beach in California but the change of scenery was very much needed and I don’t think I’ve laughed as hard in a year 🙂

  1. Quitting Opiates was probably the best decision I’ve made all year.

I totally realise that this will not be relevant for everyone but anyone who suffers chronic pain and takes morphine, see if you can quit your dose. I had taken mine for over 2 years to cope with the pain related to Scoliosis and when the pain management clinic suggested coming off it because I was a young long term user, I thought they were crazy because I was still in pain but it really is true what they say, morphine really does mess with you even if you think you’ve become tolerant to it.

Without boring you with the full in and outs of the changes, in a nutshell my pain isn’t any worse since stopping, I’ve gone from turning into a misery guts to feeling like there’s so much dopamine floating around I’m like the Duracell Bunny. Insomnia is still a bitch but you win some you lose some!

Advice- Quitting isn’t easy and the first week is the worst but it does get easier. (Oh and please consult your doctor first!)

  1. The insecurities you have about yourself, others don’t always see (or care about).

Truth be told I was debating how I would raise this but I think I need to. Everyone has insecurities and I’m not saying I’m now this uber confident person who doesn’t worry at all but all those times I thought “I was boring” or “Not clever or funny enough” or that my body didn’t look a certain way so therefore was ugly. These thoughts were not other people’s, they were my own. Worrying about these things doesn’t stop you from feeling bad it just stops you from seeing how other people see you.

  1. (Follows from previous point) Buying new underwear and playing music by female superstars on a loop will make you feel empowered to take on the world.

To start this point I really have to thank someone else’s instagram account, for any of you who saw BBC3’s defying the label season, you may of seen Wanted: A very personal assistant, and remember the girl with SMA called Jasmine, without sounding like a crazy stalker I now follow her on Instagram (@jasminerankin) and as much as I hate this term her profile inspired me.

Ironically in photos I hide my disability in photos as much as physically possible and never thought my body to be attractive in the slightest because of my disability. From what I can see this girl owns it and looks incredible, photos showing the whole chair, bikini and underwear photos.

Thank you for reminding me that just because my body will never look like model in Vogue it doesn’t mean I’m not attractive too.

So I reminded myself I’m still a woman, put Beyonce and Swift on loud, made sure my wardrobe looks as good underneath, gave myself big hair and a took on the world. Warning- may cause bad singing and excessive selfie taking 😉

In a nutshell guys, this has been my summer and next week I’m about to be a student again! AGHHHHH

Also Thank you to everyone who has read my blog in the last year- I hope it has made you laugh, cry, be angry with me and that some of you have found my babbles useful!

Until Next Time

HollyBea

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